Neuroscientist urges never look into someone's right eye - 'always the left'

A brain scientist has revealed a simple body language trick that could help you connect better with people, especially on dates. Dr Tara Swart, a neuroscientist and medical doctor, who is a senior lecturer at MIT Sloan, shared this tip during an episode of Steven Bartlett's Diary of a CEO podcast show.

Dr Swart, author of 'The Source: Open Your Mind, Change Your Life' and 'The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain', also hosts the podcast Reinvent Yourself. She left Steven and listeners in awe as she explained the power of maintaining eye contact, specifically looking into someone's left eye during a conversation.

According to the expert, this technique can stimulate a natural bonding response in the brain, fostering a stronger emotional connection with the other person. The left eye trick, she says, has its roots in our infancy.

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Dr Swart elaborated that when a baby is born, one of the primary ways it learns about emotions is through eye contact with its mother. Since most people are right-handed, they tend to hold their babies with their left hand, keeping their dominant hand free.

Consequently, when they gaze into their child's eyes, their right eye typically meets the baby's left eye. According to her, these early interactions significantly influence the amygdala, the brain region responsible for processing emotions, establishing what she calls an 'emotional resonance loop.'

She explained: "So, most people are right handed so they'll be holding their baby in their left arm so they can use their dominant hand to do stuff. So when you gaze at your baby, your right eye is looking at their left eye, and then as that interaction from the optic nerve is going around the brain, it's impacting the amygdala where emotions come from.

"It's creating this emotional resonance loop that's part of how the mother and baby bond so that right eye to left eye contact is the most bonding eye contact you can have with someone." She added: "If I'm trying to build a bond with someone that's the statistically most likely one to create good resonance between you."

Other body language tips Dr Swart shared included using physical actions, like handshakes, hugs, and kisses on the cheek. She said this can help generate a sense of friendship and trust.

What other conversation hacks are there?

To convey greater confidence and authority, try to slow down your speech. Speaking at a pace that is 10% slower than your usual rhythm can engage the listener's mirror neurons, fostering mental synchronisation and enhancing your perceived competence and control.

Try not to move or walk around a lot while you talk. Too much movement during your talk can indicate nervousness. Stabilise yourself by keeping your feet planted, and use calm hand gestures to express confidence.

To establish rapport and connection, use subtle nonverbal mirroring. While listening, gently reflect the other person's posture and movements to create nonverbal harmony and emotional resonance.

Imitating eye movements can help, too. Softly replicating the other person's eye movement patterns can help form of non-verbal empathy that can enhance feelings of trust and connection through mirror neurons.

Try breathing exercises to control your emotional well-being and avoid appearing too nervous. Engaging in deep, slow breaths stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, aiding you in staying composed during tense discussions.

Embracing a playful attitude can help you avoid feeling anxious. During a conversation, be inquisitive and embrace a childlike spirit of discovery since play and anxiety cannot exist together.