Poisonous propaganda pixie Greta Thunberg really ought to get a proper job

We're still having to listen to the poisonous propaganda pixie, Greta Thunberg, droning on about her ordeal at the hands of the Israelis who she insists kidnapped and abused her (not buying it for a second.) Thunberg is now 22, looks permanently miserable and has never had a proper job (running around screaming "I'm saving the planet" doesn't count).

She really ought to get one, then find some mates who aren't climate zealots and try to enjoy what time she has on the earth she claims is doomed. And on the bright side - at least if she's earning money, she can treat herself to a haircut that doesn't look like it's been achieved by someone putting a bowl on her bonce and cutting Around it with gardening shears!

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Thanks to new government rules on Buy One, Get One Free. Nando's has been forced to limit customers to just one Coca-Cola per person. So, this Government allows antisemites to attack and scream for the death of Jews on our streets - and does nothing. But it's limiting people to one glass of Coke because two could be dangerous?

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The new Archbishop of Canterbury Sarah Mullally is every bit as woke and PC as her weedy predecessor, Justin Welby. Just like him she's a full-throated supporter of Black Lives Matter and she fancies herself as a political voice.

But here's a thought - the Anglican church has managed perfectly well for a whole year without a leader, so why did it need a new one who looks like she's going to be as effective as Welby in alienating what is left of its dwindling congregations?

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There comes a point in a woman's life when she's too old to wear outrageously frou-frou dress with silly angel wings and have her hair scraped back off her face and pressed flat onto her head.

At 60, Sarah Jessica Parker is there!

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The sanctimonious and tediously unfunny Lenny Henry reckons the UK should pay £18trillion in reparations for slavery and compensate every black person in the country. "We personally deserve money for the effects of slavery," says this chump. Well, you don't matey, not with your £7million fortune.

Lenny Henry has done very well out of his "blackness". Throughout his comedy career he has relentlessly exploited his ethnicity by creating a host of racially-offensive caricatures - the Rastafarian Algernon Razzmatazz, Brixton pirate radio DJ Delbert Wilkins and randy West Indian pensioner Donovan Bogarde - to name but a few.

Henry says society is rigged against black people. Well, it's never been rigged against him. With negligible comedic talent he's managed to make millions, get a knighthood AND a CBE. He was given a Lifetime Achievement Award at British Comedy Awards (although God knows why). He's also a fellow of the Royal Television society and a freeman of London. And for years the BBC have relentlessly platformed him - some might say precisely because he's black because it sure as hell wasn't because of his talent.

Life and Britain couldn't have been kinder to Lenny Henry, yet still he plays the victim and is forever bellyaching about a country that's given him way more than he deserves.

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First Lineker, now Neville. What is it about footballers with the name Gary that makes them imagine they're qualified to pontificate about politics?

This week idiot millionaire and ex-Man Utd player Gary Neville tried to blame "angry white men" for causing the sort of division that led to the deaths of two Jews at a Manchester synagogue last week when there was only ever one person responsible - the British/Syrian ISIS supporting nutter (and alleged rapist) Jihad Al Shamie.

Maybe it's all those years of heading the ball that renders these footballers stupid?

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You can hate Donald Trump as much as you like but the bottom line is this peace deal between Israel and Gaza would never have happened without him.

When those half-staved hostages emerge from their underground Hell and are reunited with their broken families, it will be down to him. The killing in Gaza is going to stop - and it's down to him, not the gutless, useless, Stramer and Macron. And not any of the other ineffective world leaders.

So, call him vain and egocentric, call him ten shades of you know what but HE has done this. And for this alone he should have received the Nobel Peace Prize. And the fact he hasn't is down to small men with even smaller minds.

It's been awarded to Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado (who's she and what wars has she stopped?)

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After losing his court case for Home Office security Prince Harry said his wife and kids could never come to Britain because he feared for their safety. Funny then how Meghan's safety wasn't an issue this week when she pitched up at Paris Fashion Week putting herself front and centre of the media.

So, basically, it was a lie that her security was at risk if she's happy to fly to Europe to look at dresses. We're told that Meghan's appearance in Paris is all part of an Establishment plot called Operation Thaw which is designed to mend her and Harry's frosty relationship with the rest of the royals.

Not sure how Meghan being feted by the great and the good in Paris and posing with the new boss of Balenciaga, a fashion house that got "cancelled" after featuring an ad with children in bondage gear, is going to help mend relations with the royals. And especially after Meghan crassly posted pics of herself with her feet up in the back of a limo near the tunnel where Diana died.

Apart from the fact the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to her husband happened in that tunnel when his mother died, I'm pretty sure Wills, Kate and the King will be pretty disgusted at her stupidity and insensitivity.